What's your type?

The motorcycle didn't sell yet. The guy found another bike that he liked better. Although I was severely bummed that day, I've had 5 or 6 other calls on it, so I'm optimistic it will sell pretty quickly. New topic: Several years ago I was interested in trying to figure out people, generally speaking. I wanted to know if I could find information that would help me predict people's reactions to situations and help me navigate the murky waters of office politics. I bought a book called "Please Understand Me II," by David Keirsey. It describes a version of the Myers-Briggs personality test and the details of each personality type. I recently re-took the test, and my results indicate I am an ISFJ, or Introverted/Reserved, Sensory/Observant, Feeling/Friendly, Judging/Scheduling. I have several problems with this, however. First, this is just another label. If I tell people my personality type, they will think they can predict what kind of person I am or how I will react to a given situation. People will stick me in another compartment and prejudge me without getting to know me. I have enough labels already, thank you. My second problem has to do with the questions in the test itself. Each question has only two answers to choose from, and in many cases, I could have chosen either answer depending on the specifics behind the situation described in the question. The purpose of the test is, obviously, to select which answer "most often" applies to me, so that's what I did and these are the results I got. The fact that I sometimes would choose the other answer, however, indicates to me that my "type" doesn't tell me really what I will do in a given situation. It might tell me what I'm most likely to do, but if we're talking a 55%/45% split, then my type doesn't give me much of an edge in prediction. The last problem I have comes from the detailed descriptions of the characteristics of each personality type. Aside from the fact that I found my type's description very sexist and chauvanistic (several references to housewives and domestic proclivities), it read more like a Chinese restaurant horoscope than a guide to my personality. The descriptions were very generalized and mixed a lot of things together that didn't seem to fit. I recall when I first bought and read this book how happy I was to have found a guide to peoples' personalities. Looking back, however, I realize now that I didn't question what I was reading. I just took it as gospel. I have a habit of accepting what I read or hear without question, a habit that I'm trying to break. It seems as though we as humans have a deep instinct to follow, probably an instinct inherited from our lemming anscestors (are lemmings part of our evolutionary tree?). So, given all that, you have homework: determine where in the evolutionary tree the lemming is. You don't have to write an essay about it.

Change is in the air

A couple things going on. Last night Chris and I visited a new tennis facility being built nearby. It's got the only clay (har-tru) courts that I know of in Cape Coral. We discovered that they're going to have a full-service health club in addition to the tennis courts. They'll have 2 indoor racquetball courts, a full set of free weights and cardio, organized fitness classes, and personal training and massage. The drawback of all these services is, of course, the cost. They want $100 for one and $190 for two. That's per month, and requires a 12-month minimum commitment. For us, though, the huge upside is we'll have a reason to get out of the house. So, we signed up. We'll be visiting sports authority today to get Chris some tennis shoes, and get some new grips for the racquets and some new balls. I'm apprehensive because we have a long history of buying stuff and not using it. I am excited, though, because I might actually get into tennis again. That would be great for me. We might actually meet some new friends, too. What a concept. The second thing is we're selling our motorcycles. We put them on cycletrader.com yesterday, and got a call on mine today. The guy is coming by in about 10 minutes to buy it. I'm very sad to see it go because I put a lot of effort into finding it, and it's a great bike, but I never use it. I mean never. It's always too hot outside, or raining, or too cold, or I just don't feel like it. Hopefully I won't miss it and buy another motorocycle. If I do get another one, however, it'll be a Yamaha Radian or another classic-standard-style bike. Kawasaki makes one that's nice. I think I'm all about the shopping and not much about the using.

Drinking and Antidepressants

A little more background on me. I don't drink alcohol. Up until October, 2004, I drank copious amounts of beer. I had a kegerator and would go through a keg of Bitburger in 6 weeks. I was depressed, I weighed 192 lbs., and my job and relationship were suffering because of my erratic behavior. I "quit" drinking in October 2004, had a few "just one beer" events that turned into 6-pack events, and then I quit for good in February, 2005. I haven't had any alcohol since then. I am no longer (as) depressed, I weigh 149 lbs., and my job and relationship are in much better shape. I miss going to bars and being social, and there are times when I feel like getting drunk off my ass and I have to find another way to de-stress, but otherwise I'm glad I did what I did. I'm currently on the antidepressant Effexor. At various times in the past I've been on Prozac, Wellbutrin, and Paxil. My moods are stable, but my sex drive is non-existent, which causes a whole different kind of stress. I've recently reduced my Effexor dosage from 150mg to 112.5mg in hopes of reducing the libido-dampening side-effects. If I my moods continue to be stable on 112.5mg, I will move to 75mg and see how it goes. About 2 months ago I started an amino acid program by NeuroScience which uses neurotransmitter precursors to increase production of neurotransmitters in the body. My motivation and energy have increased since starting the program, and I am now on "phase 2," which is a ramp-up to optimal neurotransmitter levels. I submit urine samples to NeuroScience and they test it to determine which neurotransmitters are low, and then they recommend supplements based on those results. Phase 2 should last about 3 months, after which I will go into "phase 3," or maintenance mode.

About me

As a place to start, here's some background info on me. I'm 35, raised in Southwest Florida. I'm gay, have been for as long as I can remember. Tried girls a few times, tried very hard to fit into the "straight" lifestyle. Not for me. I've been with my "boyfriend" for 13 years. Any other relationship lasting that long would be called a marriage. Not in this country on this planet. I don't believe in any supreme being, god, or other "designer" of the universe. Just because we can't explain why things happen doesn't prove the existence of god. I am a computer programmer, but haven't been that enthusiastic about it lately. It seems that computers are a lot more about politics and a lot less about technology. I like to sail, though I'm not a "sailor," meaning that I don't speak all the sailor lingo and don't know all the in's and out's of sailing. I can make the boat go forward, I know most of the parts of the boat by name, and I enjoy myself when I'm on the water. The major complaint in my life is my lack of motivation. I spend a lot of time doing nothing, and I feel guilty about it. I've tried not feeling guilty about it. Definitely a work-in-progress.

How to be heard

There are tons of blogs in the world. The people behind some of those blogs have profound, meaningful things to say. The profundity of what I will say remains to be seen. I am who I am, and I plan to use this space to explore my thoughts, feelings, and emotions about life, current events, and the events in my life.