Blog Persona

One of my idols growing up was Hawkeye Pierce on the TV show M*A*S*H. Like him, I make a lot of jokes, most of which probably aren't "good" jokes. For some reason, though, my sense of humor and innate goofiness don't come through on my blog. My blog is formal, when in real life I'm not formal at all. I don't dress nicely, my house isn't a formal place, and I have a lot of strange ideas that get blurted out before I have a chance to muzzle them. Not only am I more formal on my blog than in real life, but my "real self" seems to be a lot less spontaneous than it used to be. I have become much more cautious and conventional as I've gotten older. I think part of it might be that I stopped drinking. I was able to let it all hang out (sometimes literally) when I got drunk. I don't have alcohol anymore to use as a key to open me up. I've thought about finding other things to replace alcohol, but to be blatantly honest, I would absolutely love to be able to be free to do whatever I want (within limits) without any external influence. I want to be free and social and joking and energetic all on my own. These thoughts leave me wondering where to start. How do I go about resurrecting an old me? And how do I start showing more of my real self in my blog? Even this post leaves me thinking, "Bleh, so serious!"